Why I'm Quitting Facebook on August 1, 2016

For the last few weeks, I've become more and more disgusted with Facebook (or "social media" in general). I joined Facebook in college. Way back when it was a select group because you had to be attending a sponsored college to even get a login. But, after all these years, the time has come to move on.

Why?

I've started to notice that my wife and kids are more often than not, speaking to the top of my head because my face is buried in my phone looking at pictures of other families.  And then I'm surprised that I don't remember what they've said.  It's become what I do when I'm brushing my teeth in the morning and what I do right before I fall asleep.

It's taken the FRIENDS I used to hang out and laugh with, and turned them into nothing more than avatars and photo albums that I scroll through (aka "Facebook Friends"). 

It's caused me share parts of my life with people that, in all honesty, haven't earned the right to be involved that deeply. I remember back when people had to earn a spot in your life by  investing hours upon hours of time into you. Not simply clicking a "friend request" button. I mean, there are some people on my friends list that I wouldn't want my wife and kids around for 10 minutes, but I'll share pictures and videos of them freely with those same people. Before you get offended, that comment wasn't about you...haha.

If you still want to keep up with me or my thoughts, you'll have a few options. I will leave up my Dependently Wealthy page on Facebook and will put my new blog posts there, you can sign up with your email on www.dependently-wealthy.com, we could take it back to the early 2000's and you can call or text me OR MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, we could go back to hanging out in person.

I'm fully aware that this may mean a feeling of "loneliness" for a while because I've lost some "friends".  But next time you're "hanging out with your friends" while scrolling through your News Feed, take just a second to look up from your screen...look left, then look right.  Do you feel social or do you feel alone?

It's time to invest my time in the ones that matter most to me and the ones who actually invest their time into my life.

So here's to spending time looking into my wife's and my kids' eyes instead of a "News Feed".  Here's to going back to making, regaining and investing in true friendships. Here's to not judging yourself based on how many people click a "Like" button on your post. Here's to focusing on what really matters. 

Her Beside Me

Who can find a virtuous wife? Her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; and he will have no lack of gain.   Proverbs 31:10-11

I had everything planned out so perfectly in my head as to what I was going to say about my wife in front of Dave Ramsey and 10 million listeners when we did our DEBT FREE SCREAM.  Between the nerves, excitement and emotions, it came out as, "The biggest thing for me was having her beside me."  Obviously I'm not the most eloquent of public speakers.

So today, on our 8 year anniversary, I want her to know that I would be nothing without her.  When you have a real WOMAN standing beside you, there's almost NOTHING you can't do. 

Now, when I met Brittany she was well on her way to spoiled brat princess land.  She'll tell you, that when she was growing up, she had the best of everything.  The best clothes, the best toys, etc.  If it was in style or popular, she had it.  One funny story she's told me is that her mom took her to several different stores in search of a giant jawbreakers when they first came out.  When I met her in college (2002), I was driving a 1991 Mazda MX-6 with over 200,000 miles and she was driving a new 2002 Honda Civic.

To say she was reluctant to join me when I first picked up on this Dave Ramsey stuff is an understatement.  It was a, "you can have this credit card when you pry it from my cold dead hands" type of situation.  However, she stuck it out with me (and married me anyway) and we've been able to do some great things since then.  You know you're doing something right when your Mother-In-Law says, "What have you done to my daughter."

My wife is a REAL WOMAN.  She has sacrificed and given up nearly all of her wants and some things that people may consider needs in order to make sure that her children got to do the things they wanted.  Heck, she even gave up some things to allow me to have things I wanted.  She has stood beside me through our entire debt free journey and only gotten behind me when I needed my butt kicked to get back on the course.  She is a rock to our family and without her...well, the kids and I would be in big trouble.

Thank you honey for your big heart and your love of me and our kids.  You are a virtuous woman and it's been proven that because of you, I've had no lack of gain.  I can't wait to see what the future holds for us in our DEBT FREE life going forward.  You deserve each and every reward that is coming because of the sacrifices you've made up to this point.

So, when I said "having her beside me", this is what I meant to say.  

Happy 8 years baby!!!

A Saint: Lost on Earth...Gained in Heaven

I've never met anyone with the birth name "Nana".  I believe there's a reason for that.  Nana is not a name that is just freely given, but a name that is earned.

It's earned by cooking lunch for dozens of kids, grandkids and great grandkids (even a few great-great grandkids) nearly every Sunday for decades.

It's earned by picking me up from elementary school in her blue Plymouth Acclaim and letting me ride on "the hump" (the armrest between the two front seats) without a seat belt.  She'd be thrown in jail for that these days.

It's earned by making sure that everyday after middle and high school (before I could drive) that as I walked up the driveway from the bus, there would be a honey bun appetizer ready for the microwave, a Totino's pizza in the oven and vanilla ice cream ready to be perfectly mixed with Nestle Quik powder.  Not the healthiest after school food, but hey, she was a grandmother right?

It's earned by letting me help her fill the Lord's Supper grape juice cups at church and then allowing me to drink all the leftovers.

It's earned by enduring more personal tragedy than any one person should be able to handle, but still being able to laugh at nearly every situation that comes your way.

It's earned by being a near perfect representation of what a Godly Woman should be.

In all honesty, my faith in God has waivered at times in my life.  If after I die, there is a question and answer time before going into Heaven, I think I'll ask if my Nana is in there.  If a true Saint, in my eyes, like Nana didn't make it, I'm positive that I don't deserve to be there.

I've never met anyone quite like my Nana.  Even after getting 31 years of time with her (only a third of her life), it doesn't seem like enough.  I'm going to miss her for the rest of the time I have here but I do know that someday I will get to see her again.

I love you Nana.

Don't Just See The Finish Line

In James C. Collins' book, "Good To Great", he explains that BAD is not the enemy of GREAT.  The true enemy of GREAT is GOOD.  

Think about a person who has trained for months to run their first 26.2 mile marathon.  All the sweat, all the pain and all the sacrifice that goes into the journey leading up to race day.  On race day, they step up to the starting line in the best shape of their life and are ready to do this.  At mile 25.2, they can see the finish line up a 1 mile slope.  Thoughts start creeping in like, "I've already accomplished more than most people will in their lifetime by training and running 25.2 miles and I'm so tired...I've done good enough."  Imagine the regret of stopping just 1 mile short of completing something you've worked so hard to achieve because it was, "good enough".

What does this have to do with money?  My wife and I had a "we've done good enough" moment a few weeks ago.  Are we running a marathon..no way.  But we have been on a 33 month "marathon" to pay off our house.  In the middle of month 32, with only 3 months to go, we nearly decided to slow down on the rest of the payments and enjoy ourselves a little more.  After all, in the last 32 months we'd done more than most people can or are willing to do in 4x that amount of time.  We almost decided to stretch out our last three huge (sacrificing lifestyle) payments, for a more comfortable 6 or 12 months of payments.

Thankfully we've decided that "good enough" is NOT good enough.  We are going to push through the next few months and keep pushing until we feel the tape at the finish line tight against our chest and then that final moment when the tape snaps and the tension of the sacrifices we've made over the last 35 months falls away.

Don't settle for good...PUSH FOR GREAT!  

Don't just see the finish line...CROSS IT!

Interest Rate Is NOT Your Problem

Almost every day on my drive to work, I hear at least two advertisements on my local radio station from mortgage lending companies.  The "Normal" way of handling money in America that is marketed through these advertisements REALLY gets under my skin.  I sometimes find myself telling my radio just how dumb it is...don't judge.

The phrase that really chaps my hide is, "We helped a local family pay off all their high-interest credit cards."  Read this next line very slowly (or a couple of times) to make sure you get it.  SHIFTING CREDIT CARD (OR CAR, OR STUDENT LOAN) DEBT TO YOUR NEWLY REFINANCED MORTGAGE DOES NOT "PAY OFF" THAT DEBT.  You are playing a shell game and only moving the ball to another location...YOU DID NOTHING!

Let me tell you something that may shock you, INTEREST RATE IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM.  Your lack of discipline and ability to stop yourself from buying crap you don't need, with money you don't have...THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM!

"But my interest rate went from 19% down to 4%."  Let me show you why you need to think.  Let's say you have $10,000 owed on a credit card at a 19% interest rate.

        Option #1:  You refinance your house to "pay off" that high interest credit card.  You choose a 30 year mortgage at 4% interest and pay $3,000 in closing fees to get this new loan.  You feel good about yourself because you don't owe $10,000 on that credit card anymore, but let's look at the actual math.  At the end of your loan (30 years later) you would have paid $17,130 + $3,000 in closing fees ($20,130) on the $10,000 you "paid off".  That's ove $10,000 in INTEREST/CLOSING ALONE.

       Option #2:  You decide to get pissed off enough at the situation you've put yourself in and change your behaviors.  You decide to put off some temporary WANTS, buckle down your budget and put $907 per month toward this credit card.  After 12 months of scraping, scratching and sacrificing to win, you've paid off that credit card.  The total you paid is $10,886...ONLY $886 IN INTEREST (even at 19%).  Oh, and you're done! You don't have the next 29 years to pay on this stupid thing.

Again, interest rate is not your problem.  The problem is you looking for "easy" ways out.  The problem is your inability to tell yourself "no" for a short time in order to win.  Your problem is you can't control you.  Get control of you and you can do this! 

Sheep On A Ledge

There's a statistic out there that almost makes me physically sick.  70% of American households are living paycheck to paycheck.  Take any 10 houses in your neighborhood and on average only 3 of those have any type of margin in their lives.  I hope you're in the 30% and not the 70%.

The reason you don't have money is rarely from outside sources.  If you want to see who's to blame, go into a dark bathroom, say "Bloody Mary" three times, then turn the light on.  It's going to be scary because you're going to see the culprit...YOU!

There are lots of excuses for having no money and most of them are CRAP.  The truth behind most of the excuses is that you bought stuff you couldn't afford with money you didn't have...and now you have a bunch of junk with nothing to show for it but stress and problems. 

 

I am NOT one of the "Operation Wallstreet" goobers who think that there are "Evil Corporations" out there screwing the Little Man out of his money only to line the pockets of some fat cat millionare.  While there may be a few people at the top of those companies that make A LOT of money, simply making large salary doesn't automatically mean scumbag.  The stress and responsibility put on those at the top is much more than the stress you feel from your cubical.  OH YEAH...AND THEY EMPLOY YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, SO SHUT UP.

I also don't think that marketing is an excuse for being broke.  Yes, we are the most marketed to society in the history of the world, but ultimately each and every decision we make is ours.  There are "Evil Corporations" out there trying to show us at any moment that what we have is not good enough, there's a newer version or a better way.  And we, as Americans, follow like SHEEP and walk off the "financial ledge" without a second thought...until we can't make the payments on all the other stuff we've previously purchased.

It's time to stop being SHEEP, wake up, put our big boy (or girl) pants on and live with a PLAN!  It's time to budget your money BEFORE it's spent.  It's time to save for an EMERGENCY FUND to give yourself some margin.  It's time to be content with what we do have and stop worrying so much about what we don't have (if you'll compare yourself to most other parts of the world, you're doing pretty good).  It's time to use a word that most of us refuse to use these days, "NO".  It's time to sacrifice some STUFF now to pay off debt on the STUFF you "had to have".   It's time to save some money for your retirement and kid's college.  It's time to start giving to others so we take our eyes off ourselves for just a few seconds.

2015 = 7

Happy New Year!!

I know what you're thinking, "For a blog about money, this guy sure sucks at math."  Well, here's the good news...To be excellent with money, it's more about behavior than math.  Let's face it, most of us can do 3rd grade addition and subtraction.

After all, today's blog isn't about math at all.  How does 2015 = 7?  Well, let's talk about Dave Ramsey's Baby Steps.

Baby Step 1 - $1,000 Starter Emergency Fund
Baby Step 2 - Pay Off Debt Using The Debt Snowball
Baby Step 3 - Build a 3-6 Month Emergency Fund
Baby Step 4 - Invest 15% in Retirement
Baby Step 5 - College Funding for Children
Baby Step 6 - Pay Off Your Home Early
Baby Step 7 - Build Wealth and Give

So why does 2015 = 7?  This is the year my family will pay off our home and reach Baby Step 7!  Not bad for a couple of 31 year olds with two kids, right?

Here's our progress in 2014:
January 1, 2014 Mortgage Balance - $85,318
December 31, 2014 Mortgage Balance - $38,127

I'm thankful for a wife who is as psyched as I am to get this debt out of our lives and truly Live Like No One Else.  LET'S DO THIS BABY!