One Way Street

Agree with each other and don't be divided... Instead, be restored with the same mind and the same purpose.  -1 Corinthians 1:10

I've always heard that, "marriage is a two way street."  Or that, "you've got to give a little and take a little."

I could not DISAGREE with this notion any more.    If one of you is heading North while the other is heading South with a chain tied to each of your bumpers, there are only two things that can happen.

1. Neither of you get anywhere

2. You break the bind and head in opposite directions

 

Since this is a blog mainly about money, we'll look at this through that lens (although it applies to many other areas).  Let's say that one of you decides you want to become Debt Free and sacrifice some "wants" in order to achieve this goal.  The other simply wants to "enjoy life while you can," even if that means racking up debt to do so.  These are obviously conflicting goals, neither of which are considered "bad" in our society.  (Getting out of debt might seem WEIRD to most in our society, but most would agree it's not a bad idea)

 

What do you think is going to happen in this relationship?  Peace, Harmony and Progress...or Stress, Fights and Stagnation?

The only way to avoid the stress, fights and stagnation that comes with not being on the same page with money is to complete a monthly budget that BOTH OF YOU agree on before each month begins.  AND THEN LIVE ON THAT BUDGET!  YNAB is the BEST software program (and Apps) I've EVER seen to help you get and stay on the same page with a budget.

 

This is REAL lock arms and skip down the yellow brick road time.  IN THE SAME DIRECTION.  That yellow brick road is a one way street.

Irregular Income...Smirregular Income

When teaching a couple or group the art, science and mathematics of budgeting, one question/comment comes up more than any other.  “I am not a salaried employee and my income varies from month to month.  How am I suppose to budget.”

Prior to learning about You Need A Budget's Rule 4, the best advice I could give was to make a “Prioritized Spending Plan.”  In other words, list all your expenses most important to least important with the amounts you want to budget to that category.  Then when you get paid, use that money to fund as far down your budget priority list as possible.  Not a very warm and fuzzy answer!

But wait, there is a better way.  With YNAB, your Rule 4 goal is to spend this month only the money you earned last month.  REVOLUTIONARY!  You now have the power to budget exactly the same as someone who gets a salaried check once a month.  No more guessing which priorities will be most important if I only make $3,000 this month instead of the $4,500 I had hoped for.  Now you can make the EXACT decisions on importance up front knowing you only have $3,000 to budget.

Think about it, no more wondering if you'll have enough hours or make enough commission to pay your bills.  A few weeks of sacrifice to eliminate a lifetime of worry!?  Sounds like a good trade off to me.  

What about you?  Are you ready to live this month on money you made last month?

What We Could ALL Learn from Phil Robertson

Whether I agree or disagree with Phil Robertson's comments during his interview with GQ is of ZERO importance.  What I do appreciate about the head of the Robertson family is this...HE STANDS FIRM IN HIS BELIEFS.

The United States of America has gradually become a nation of wusses (defined as: a weak or ineffectual person).  In an effort to make sure everyone wins and no one has their feelings hurt, we have become so passive in our beliefs that I'm not sure many people actually believe in their "beliefs" anymore.  At least not to the point they are willing to speak about them freely even if it makes some other people uncomfortable. We have the right to Free Speech, but these days there's an asterisk with a footnote (Free Speech*).
      *As long as what you say doesn't offend any other human being, anywhere on the planet.

So here's my thought.  If someone asks you about your beliefs, answer 100% honestly.  Believe me, I am pointing directly at myself as I type this.  I have been a "people pleaser" most of my life and although I've never lied about my beliefs, I'm sure that I have brushed over something I thought may not be well received.

IT'S TIME TO BELIEVE IN YOUR BELIEFS!

-Merry Christmas

Why God Gives Us Children - Part II

Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Ephesians 5:1 

I am constantly amazed by the lessons I learn about God just by being around my kids. I typically don't notice these lessons for what they are at the time, but something later just throws the memory right back in my face and says, "See, this is what I was trying to show you."

I was sitting in a church service about a month ago and the sermon came from Ephesian 5. As my Pastor began reading, my mind got stuck on the first verse. To be honest, I may not have heard any other part of the sermon because I just couldn't get it out of my head. Memories from my childhood and now memories of my children just came rushing into my head like a flood.

Memories of one of my dad’s favorite sayings when I was younger, "Do as I say, not as I do." I remember hearing this many times from him and even as an adolescent thinking, "How hypocritical is that?!!” Or memories of my mom telling me I couldn’t have a credit card, but using one herself. Guess what I did my freshman year of college…got a credit card. Hey, I was an adult after all.
Recent memories from my children reinforced in me that they are always watching…and I am leading by example (whether or not that example is a good one). Like the times that my 3 year old son lovingly calls my wife “baby” or “honey” because I use these terms often when talking to her. Or when I was outside just the other day picking up rocks off the driveway and throwing them across the street into an empty lot, when my 1 year old daughter waddled over beside me, bent down and picked up her own rock and threw it as far as her little chunky arm would allow.

This lesson I learned from God through my kids doesn’t stop at the Parent/Child relationship. It also reminded me that I could talk a “good Christian” game, but I’d better be living up to those claims. That old saying, “Actions speak louder than words,” is absolute truth. We can either be a small reason someone leans toward God or a HUGE reason someone turns away saying, “All those Christians are hypocrites, what’s the point?”

I thank God for my children and for teaching me life lessons through them.

Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Ephesians 5:1

Why God gives us children

Psalms 127:3 Children are a gift from God

Have you ever gotten one of those gifts that made you look a little closer in the mirror? Maybe it was a piece of exercise equipment...think someone's trying to give you a hint!?

I think God gives us the gift of children just to show us how we treat our Heavenly Father even though we are "grownups."  I hear myself saying things to my son then, later on, I'm reminded how God's little boy (me) is SO similar in actions to my 3 year old.

Let me give you an example. I try to be patient and understanding as I teach my son what is right/wrong acceptable/unacceptable. I will give him slack and give him several opportunities to do what I've instructed him to do or not to do. Most times he will end up complying for a short time and 5 minutes later go back to the action I've asked him to avoid. I hear myself saying, "Caleb, what did I just say?" in a loud voice.

One day when I said this, it hit me. This HAS to be how God feels when I've been instructed my whole life what is right and wrong as a Christian, but do what I want to do anyway. Talk about an opportunity to take a look in the mirror.

Thank you God for my kids!

The Sprint

 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. - Hebrews 12:11

There are two types of people in the world...people that pull a Band-aid off one hair a time, and the people that rip it off all at once.

 

When my wife and I decided to change our money habits and get out of debt, we decided to go CRAZY...a "rip it off all at once" attitude.  We decided that if we were going to feel the pain of change, we wanted the pain to be for as short a period as possible.

 

My wife was blessed with a mom (here's your credit Angie) that was able to save enough money to pay for her education as she went through.  I was also blessed with a mom and dad who helped me out tremendously through college and the only Student Loans I "had" to take were to pay the actual tuition costs for 4 years.   

 

As I said in a previous blog, since we had begun the process of being smart with money while still in college,  the only debt we had upon graduation was my student loan totaling approximately $12,000.  I knew that my loan payments did not have to be made until 6 months after graduating and EdFinancial was "gracious" enough to allow me to pay my loan off over the term of 20 YEARS?!

We decided not to have a student loan around for 20 years, so we sat down and did our budget.  On January 2nd I started my first "real" job.  Brittany didn't start her "real" job until January 25th.  

 

We scraped, clawed and fought with EVERYTHING WE HAD!  We used money we'd gotten for graduation, income taxes and EVERY DOLLAR WE COULD FIND.  

 

AND PAID OFF $12,000 IN 60 DAYS...

I don't remember eating in this 60 day period, just kidding, but not much!  We didn't make that kind of money.  Looking back all I can point to is God blessing us for being smart with the resources he'd given us to manage.

I see people and even have family/friends that train for half or full marathons all the time.  I've decided that I'm a sprinter and want to get whatever pain there is in my life over as quickly and intensely as possible. 

WE DID IT...I even got to call into The Dave Ramsey Show and scream WE'RE DEBT FREEEEEEEE!!!  It feels great and we will NEVER go back.

The Restraints

The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is the slave of the lender.  Proverbs 22:7

Believe it or not, slavery is more prominent in the US today than any period in history. The type of slavery I'm talking about does not discriminate based on race, gender, religion, etc. Anyone at or above the legal age to enter into a contract is in danger of getting their very own set of handcuffs with the swipe of a pen.

Debt has become so NORMAL in our society today that most people don't think twice about it...until they've gotten so much that they aren't able to pay it.  Most today are so eager to trade their hours away from their families, working at a job they probably hate, to pay for some STUFF in the form of payments to the bank, credit card company or auto dealer.

It truly is a master/slave relationship.  Anyone else ever felt like a slave to MASTERcard?  Trading hours of work for things you probably don't even remember buying.

I have been a Dave Ramsey Certified Financial Counselor since 2009 and I'll NEVER forget the first couple I met with.  They were an average couple, in their mid-40s, with two elementary school aged boys.  They came to me looking for direction and said they felt "lost" with money...and rightly so.

 

Their situation:

$100,000 in CREDIT CARD debt

$290,000 balance on their $300,000 home

Money owed on DJ Equipment they used for their side business

Trip planned to take the two boys to Disney World

Metaphorically, they were leaned over the police car of life with 10 pairs of handcuffs around their wrists.  

 

God's plan for you is to prosper!  God's plan for you is to be able to help the hurting!  God's plan is for you to enjoy life!  

It's impossible to truly prosper with debt.  It's impossible be generous with debt (without causing yourself more harm).  It's hard to have fun and enjoy life with a pair of handcuffs on.  

BREAK FREE!